Bitterness swells.
there are 2 types of guys.
A. unemotional freak. no feelings at all and socially handicapped.
B. one who appears to be the unemotional freak.
regardless of how they think, how they feel, how sensitive they are, it all looks the same. however, one's true self will surface. all in due time.
i used to think that i was pretty open abt being myself. yeah, if i outrightly feel something, i'll just say it out. maybe not in public, but at least to a few over the phone.
than somewhere along the way, everything changed.
it could be because of O's, maybe even the sudden deprivition of alchohol. maybe it was something all bottled up and bound to erupt one day. than again, when i look back, i have always felt this way. just never expressed.
too many times i've kept it to myself.
too many times have i simply dismissed it as something that would gradually go away.
too many times have i put down the feelings telling myself that it wasnt 'right' to possess such emotions.
not emotions per se, but the genre of it all.
now you're probably asking - what emotion?
of course, the sharper ones would have read the title.
yep. bitterness.
i didnt really like the word labelled on me.
but at this present day and age, i have grown to accept that i am indeed very much -
bitter.
i rarely allow an action to pass me by without my questioning its intention, its motive, its purpose. this was apparent since sec2. so i cant really blame SS.
now, that i have practiced this trade for nearly 2 years, it's become more of a habit, and boy, it'll be hard to kick. after 2 years, its not a skill anymore, it has become ingrained into me such that its on auto-pilot. i dont want to know, but i do.
it used to be something i was proud of, till, till i started morphing into this creature. but wait, i've always been this way. or at least i never noticed before.
i'm starting to go through what i swore i would never have to.
never to regret feeling.
there are 2 types of guys.
A. unemotional freak. no feelings at all and socially handicapped.
B. one who appears to be the unemotional freak.
regardless of how they think, how they feel, how sensitive they are, it all looks the same. however, one's true self will surface. all in due time.
i used to think that i was pretty open abt being myself. yeah, if i outrightly feel something, i'll just say it out. maybe not in public, but at least to a few over the phone.
than somewhere along the way, everything changed.
it could be because of O's, maybe even the sudden deprivition of alchohol. maybe it was something all bottled up and bound to erupt one day. than again, when i look back, i have always felt this way. just never expressed.
too many times i've kept it to myself.
too many times have i simply dismissed it as something that would gradually go away.
too many times have i put down the feelings telling myself that it wasnt 'right' to possess such emotions.
not emotions per se, but the genre of it all.
now you're probably asking - what emotion?
of course, the sharper ones would have read the title.
yep. bitterness.
i didnt really like the word labelled on me.
but at this present day and age, i have grown to accept that i am indeed very much -
bitter.
i rarely allow an action to pass me by without my questioning its intention, its motive, its purpose. this was apparent since sec2. so i cant really blame SS.
now, that i have practiced this trade for nearly 2 years, it's become more of a habit, and boy, it'll be hard to kick. after 2 years, its not a skill anymore, it has become ingrained into me such that its on auto-pilot. i dont want to know, but i do.
it used to be something i was proud of, till, till i started morphing into this creature. but wait, i've always been this way. or at least i never noticed before.
i'm starting to go through what i swore i would never have to.
never to regret feeling.