Shattered.

i stand behind the one-way mirror

sound-proof

and i scream
i flail
i wail
i fall on my knees and beg

but you cannot hear me
you cannot see me

i am crying out. in pain. in anguish.

but your life goes on.

my life. it. stopped.

the. day. i. handed. it. back. to. you.
there. under. the. blazing. sun.
there. which. i. pass. every. morning.
there.
there. i thought. i broke. your heart.
but no. no. no. i broke my. own.

today i confronted my demons

i followed my heart
i cast aside my fear, my shame, my uncertainty

i thought i would see the light.

i thought hope was around the corner.
instead, i
ran
into
a BRICK WALL.

ouch.

that hurt.
i'm bleeding again.

why is it, that you're so far, yet so near, yet so far?

why?

how much longer i can bear this, i do not know.

but i have a sickening feeling that i will survive.
why can't i be a lesser being, a weakling,
and crumble at your feet,
a heap of sorrows,
and you will make me complete?

i wish i had the strength to be weak.

can you hear me?

-sister Felicia.

|moz| was here at 1:13 AM | 1:13 AM