Bonds.
absolutly delighted i was at the multiplication this year.
maybe not innitially
but as things begin to unwrap
things proved otherwise.
i guess the story started last year at N175
there and then
i asked
as the msg suggested
one of the leaders then for d.
he agreed
but i cldn see much effect till the mutiplication.
lamentably
i owed it more to guitar than the multiplication
for it was the times we gathered early every saturday afternoon
that i got my single chance to share
to listen
and to learn.
but
like it or not
chances are
if not for n309's existence
i wld never get that opportunity.
besides that
the bonding in cell was covalent.
i must say
that cell was probably the one place where i learnt that a sense of identity can actually exist.
debates had no binary division to school
understandably.
n109 was really the family we talked abt
and towards the end of the year
in camp
on the ride home
i msut say i've established friendships i am not ashamed of.
before the tri-division
the bridge between the elites and the rest was heavily felt
plus the poplulation of the group gave little chances of any sizable clique to base its grounds on.
the three-way split was well concieved.
but of course
in both these areas
there was much to be disapointed abt.
i noticed
that ever since some turning point in time
that 1 hour practice had increasingly more ppl
i ended up catching up the little i cld get on bus rides
yup
on bus rides.
and well
this year hasnt seen me thru many lasting friendships.
namely
3 of them.
i wish i cld give one more go at it
but sometimes
it takes 2 hands to clap
and even after my hand is willing
one's mind does wander to doubting the sincerity of words.
and at other situations
circumstances forbid.
and in all this
i do feel a little commidified.
i resent the fact that ppl do tie down a value on me based on my skills.
but maybe
appreciating ppl for who they are might be quixotic dreaming.
but if anything
its a dream worth dreaming abt.
i'm still here...
maybe not innitially
but as things begin to unwrap
things proved otherwise.
i guess the story started last year at N175
there and then
i asked
as the msg suggested
one of the leaders then for d.
he agreed
but i cldn see much effect till the mutiplication.
lamentably
i owed it more to guitar than the multiplication
for it was the times we gathered early every saturday afternoon
that i got my single chance to share
to listen
and to learn.
but
like it or not
chances are
if not for n309's existence
i wld never get that opportunity.
besides that
the bonding in cell was covalent.
i must say
that cell was probably the one place where i learnt that a sense of identity can actually exist.
debates had no binary division to school
understandably.
n109 was really the family we talked abt
and towards the end of the year
in camp
on the ride home
i msut say i've established friendships i am not ashamed of.
before the tri-division
the bridge between the elites and the rest was heavily felt
plus the poplulation of the group gave little chances of any sizable clique to base its grounds on.
the three-way split was well concieved.
but of course
in both these areas
there was much to be disapointed abt.
i noticed
that ever since some turning point in time
that 1 hour practice had increasingly more ppl
i ended up catching up the little i cld get on bus rides
yup
on bus rides.
and well
this year hasnt seen me thru many lasting friendships.
namely
3 of them.
i wish i cld give one more go at it
but sometimes
it takes 2 hands to clap
and even after my hand is willing
one's mind does wander to doubting the sincerity of words.
and at other situations
circumstances forbid.
and in all this
i do feel a little commidified.
i resent the fact that ppl do tie down a value on me based on my skills.
but maybe
appreciating ppl for who they are might be quixotic dreaming.
but if anything
its a dream worth dreaming abt.
i'm still here...