Fear of the unknown.
i know i nvr did update that thing after the phone call
but just to note
being scarred had nothing to do with it.
but since, i'm at this topic,
remember Sy Rogers said scars represent the fact that one has been hurt but also the fact that one has healed?
-Kwanhan
thats what made me think that day
while mistakes have been forgiven
the past is not forgotten
or at least
not yet.
and because this scar is fresh
it still is very much visible
and thus, things dont disapear from you're memory space just yet.
The best medicine is time.
words of wisdom from my discipler.
the matter insofar
has proven to be progessive.
today
it seemed as though all that in the past nvr happened.
partially thanks to a mediator.
many a things are jsut what you make them to be
since feelings are just signals sent from the brain.
maybe because it was nvr meant to be personal
maybe because the apoplogies were that mending
maybe because thats how true friends are to be
my only fear is that this is all a pretence
and nothing more than one of those friendships.
but i have faith it isnt.
so
till trials tell
i herby declare this case closed.
now, abt that phone call.
my discipler had to say
i hope its only a christmas present.
i had the impression that things were going to be great
cuz theoratically
we did everything we were supposed to
undured all the longsufferings
and stood the test of time
or at least, i had the impression that noone was going to doubt me.
i know that sounded incredibly dangerous
and in some sense
i'm afraid i might've let it slip.
i'm ok.
but that doesnt mean the matter is
and after all
i could be biased without knowing it.
that is scary thinking.
to be biased and yet not realising it.
sigh.
this is one short holiday.
i didnt get the usual one month wait before december even started.
december started
and now its christmas.
and i can hardly feel the christmas spirit.
plus, i failed miserably at getting any numbers added to the kingdom.
and
i feel kinda guilty at the christmas present.
oh well
i wonder how many will fully understand this entry.
School's starting
i am both excited and yet afraid.
fear of the unknown it seems
once again.
new environment
new social group
new subjects
i guess i'll just let it come at me.
camp was traditionally great.
this time i got to see the sunrise
and waves throbbing up and down from the headland.
dashes of mighty red orange and white.
tremendous i tell you
tremendous.
now for the sunset.
but just to note
being scarred had nothing to do with it.
but since, i'm at this topic,
remember Sy Rogers said scars represent the fact that one has been hurt but also the fact that one has healed?
-Kwanhan
thats what made me think that day
while mistakes have been forgiven
the past is not forgotten
or at least
not yet.
and because this scar is fresh
it still is very much visible
and thus, things dont disapear from you're memory space just yet.
The best medicine is time.
words of wisdom from my discipler.
the matter insofar
has proven to be progessive.
today
it seemed as though all that in the past nvr happened.
partially thanks to a mediator.
many a things are jsut what you make them to be
since feelings are just signals sent from the brain.
maybe because it was nvr meant to be personal
maybe because the apoplogies were that mending
maybe because thats how true friends are to be
my only fear is that this is all a pretence
and nothing more than one of those friendships.
but i have faith it isnt.
so
till trials tell
i herby declare this case closed.
now, abt that phone call.
my discipler had to say
i hope its only a christmas present.
i had the impression that things were going to be great
cuz theoratically
we did everything we were supposed to
undured all the longsufferings
and stood the test of time
or at least, i had the impression that noone was going to doubt me.
i know that sounded incredibly dangerous
and in some sense
i'm afraid i might've let it slip.
i'm ok.
but that doesnt mean the matter is
and after all
i could be biased without knowing it.
that is scary thinking.
to be biased and yet not realising it.
sigh.
this is one short holiday.
i didnt get the usual one month wait before december even started.
december started
and now its christmas.
and i can hardly feel the christmas spirit.
plus, i failed miserably at getting any numbers added to the kingdom.
and
i feel kinda guilty at the christmas present.
oh well
i wonder how many will fully understand this entry.
School's starting
i am both excited and yet afraid.
fear of the unknown it seems
once again.
new environment
new social group
new subjects
i guess i'll just let it come at me.
camp was traditionally great.
this time i got to see the sunrise
and waves throbbing up and down from the headland.
dashes of mighty red orange and white.
tremendous i tell you
tremendous.
now for the sunset.