After-thought.
at this point of time,
i dont have much of a choice do i.
i guess i have resigned to the fate that i was never called to do this
it was never meant for me
the last 3 years
all that talk
all that drive
all that all that
was for naught.
it was fun yes.
it was enlightening.
i doubt i'd exchange any of those 3 years for any other.
it definately was a long painful learning point, without it, we wldnt be quite the same.
its just that
i think linkin park put it aptly in its remixed version of krwlng -
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
i've never really delt with that problem
and i'm sure that in the circuit
everyone
and everyone
has always remained in the struggle
to prove themselves.
i never did.
but i know
through what someone once called
quiet confidence
that even if i cant elucidate certain facts
even if i dont sound as nice
i wld beat them anyday in pure logic.
that i have been trained to do.
and thats why i say that maybe i was never intended to do this.
i am not a debater. not from this day forth.
all them arrogant ppl
none of them worthy ppl to meet.
or at least in general, they all seem to be.
perhaps thats because in the process of getting there
the elevated status and the elitist sentiments cuase it to be so.
but thats perohperal.
arrogance. confidence. difference.
i think that to some extent
the general feeling between the two is that confidence is a state of awareness
while arrogance is a state of awareness + the that state of awareness glaringly written all over the person's actions, words etc.
taht does imply tho
that the perception of how arrogant one is
depends on the individual - cuz if there's this really uber sensative freak that can read minds and tell how ppl feel from their angle of their movements or the wave of a hand,
than the most subtle confident person would be considered arrogant.
of course
there is the aspect of attitude, albiet a very thin line.
arrogance tends to be condenscending, while confidence not necessarily encouragin, but at the very least neutral, whcih might prove to be virtually impossible.
perenially trying to prove oneself.
i guess
we all want a little
to gain control of our lives.
to gain control of our destiny
to be in charge of what happens to us
so that we can stop the bad that occurs in out lives
so that we can make teh world we live in
the perfect world for ourselves.
although we knwo for a fact
that no matter what we do
we are hoplessly out of countrol.
and from a biblical point of view
we know that we ought not to try to change things by our own might
thats trying to be indepednat of God
alternatively, we shld embrace the fact that there is someone greater
someone higher
someone wiser
thats in control of this messed up place.
bbbut
the thing that has always puzzled me is that
i was somewhat inclined to think that teh thing that makes us human
is the freedom of choice.
or at least, in comparison to robots.
without choice, we wldnt need to think
we wldnt need to feel.
choice seems to agonize the us
because instead of letting things easily pass us by
we gotta make descisions
against our will
against short-term self gratification
for long term casues.
i guess choice must not be without check.
and God gives us that choice
with some 'guiding tips' and stuff.
what we are given tho
inthe words of dc
is that we are given the
choice of choice.
or the choice to excercise our choise
even if it defies God.
so what than makes us human?
i like to think for now that its a spiritual component to us.
this has been a long entry.
and i hear angels calling...
another time
another time.
i dont have much of a choice do i.
i guess i have resigned to the fate that i was never called to do this
it was never meant for me
the last 3 years
all that talk
all that drive
all that all that
was for naught.
it was fun yes.
it was enlightening.
i doubt i'd exchange any of those 3 years for any other.
it definately was a long painful learning point, without it, we wldnt be quite the same.
its just that
i think linkin park put it aptly in its remixed version of krwlng -
Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me
Distracting, reacting
Against my will I stand beside my own reflection
It's haunting how I can't seem...
To find myself again
My walls are closing in
(Without a sense of confidence I’m convinced that there’s just too much pressure to take)
I've felt this way before
So insecure
i've never really delt with that problem
and i'm sure that in the circuit
everyone
and everyone
has always remained in the struggle
to prove themselves.
i never did.
but i know
through what someone once called
quiet confidence
that even if i cant elucidate certain facts
even if i dont sound as nice
i wld beat them anyday in pure logic.
that i have been trained to do.
and thats why i say that maybe i was never intended to do this.
i am not a debater. not from this day forth.
all them arrogant ppl
none of them worthy ppl to meet.
or at least in general, they all seem to be.
perhaps thats because in the process of getting there
the elevated status and the elitist sentiments cuase it to be so.
but thats perohperal.
arrogance. confidence. difference.
i think that to some extent
the general feeling between the two is that confidence is a state of awareness
while arrogance is a state of awareness + the that state of awareness glaringly written all over the person's actions, words etc.
taht does imply tho
that the perception of how arrogant one is
depends on the individual - cuz if there's this really uber sensative freak that can read minds and tell how ppl feel from their angle of their movements or the wave of a hand,
than the most subtle confident person would be considered arrogant.
of course
there is the aspect of attitude, albiet a very thin line.
arrogance tends to be condenscending, while confidence not necessarily encouragin, but at the very least neutral, whcih might prove to be virtually impossible.
perenially trying to prove oneself.
i guess
we all want a little
to gain control of our lives.
to gain control of our destiny
to be in charge of what happens to us
so that we can stop the bad that occurs in out lives
so that we can make teh world we live in
the perfect world for ourselves.
although we knwo for a fact
that no matter what we do
we are hoplessly out of countrol.
and from a biblical point of view
we know that we ought not to try to change things by our own might
thats trying to be indepednat of God
alternatively, we shld embrace the fact that there is someone greater
someone higher
someone wiser
thats in control of this messed up place.
bbbut
the thing that has always puzzled me is that
i was somewhat inclined to think that teh thing that makes us human
is the freedom of choice.
or at least, in comparison to robots.
without choice, we wldnt need to think
we wldnt need to feel.
choice seems to agonize the us
because instead of letting things easily pass us by
we gotta make descisions
against our will
against short-term self gratification
for long term casues.
i guess choice must not be without check.
and God gives us that choice
with some 'guiding tips' and stuff.
what we are given tho
inthe words of dc
is that we are given the
choice of choice.
or the choice to excercise our choise
even if it defies God.
so what than makes us human?
i like to think for now that its a spiritual component to us.
this has been a long entry.
and i hear angels calling...
another time
another time.