True.
i know full well the detriments aquired from low self-esteem and that many people just look down on themselves beyond reasonable standards, but i think that maybe this time, in light of the truth, i deserve the right to be.
i hate myself.
and maybe to add on to that
i hate this life.
and i hate the way i messed it up.
too long have i riden on arrogance and too long have i flirted with possession. i blame myself for being too aware, so aware that i cannot even be true to myself. in fact, i cant even tell history from myth. i often chuck aside what i dont like to remember as something i only thought to be. i know that doesnt make any sense, but lets just say that its one of those things i rather not make public. as others.
i'm just tired. i come back everyday and just drift instantly into lumber-land. i dont quite know why either, but recently, i've been sleeping in more busses than ever before. i have been warned before and i took heed. but that deosnt prevent things from happening altogether.
maybe i'm just burned out. or i have been burned out for quite long, only that i've endured it to no avail.
full of
hostility.
projection.
ignorance is bliss.
dumb.
fears.
hides.
breaks.
tears.
shreds.
burns.
dao.
me.
sigh. myabe after i've been through this i'll go structure these random factors attributing to the mindless state i am in.
I Am who I Am
i am really sorry. i hope you arent annoyed at me or anything.
thought to keep me pre-occupied from thrashing myself: is meritocracy a cover for elitism.
i hate myself.
and maybe to add on to that
i hate this life.
and i hate the way i messed it up.
too long have i riden on arrogance and too long have i flirted with possession. i blame myself for being too aware, so aware that i cannot even be true to myself. in fact, i cant even tell history from myth. i often chuck aside what i dont like to remember as something i only thought to be. i know that doesnt make any sense, but lets just say that its one of those things i rather not make public. as others.
i'm just tired. i come back everyday and just drift instantly into lumber-land. i dont quite know why either, but recently, i've been sleeping in more busses than ever before. i have been warned before and i took heed. but that deosnt prevent things from happening altogether.
maybe i'm just burned out. or i have been burned out for quite long, only that i've endured it to no avail.
full of
hostility.
projection.
ignorance is bliss.
dumb.
fears.
hides.
breaks.
tears.
shreds.
burns.
dao.
me.
sigh. myabe after i've been through this i'll go structure these random factors attributing to the mindless state i am in.
I Am who I Am
i am really sorry. i hope you arent annoyed at me or anything.
thought to keep me pre-occupied from thrashing myself: is meritocracy a cover for elitism.